a week away from civilization spent talking about how civilization can be made a nicer place to live in. and as we headed home i couldn't help but realise that i hadn't missed the city one bit. i didn't miss my internet as much, or the constant sound or vehicles that i once believed had a very soothing quality of constancy. i missed my peace of a few days, but that was entirely attributed to the company i had. crude unlikeable company.

...and so the first screening happened today.
i think around 10 people turned up. which is pathetic. yes. on the other hand, it's a considerable number for this situation so yay!
i was supposed to feel good about this. but i didn't.
:|

just a teeny bit. maybe. but it disappeared pretty soon.

and now the time problem's stuck.
damn. if only design came that easy.

6 days of walking in the hot sweltering 40+ Delhi sun.
80+ hours on the train.
30+ cups of chai.
1700 photographs.
30 theses models.
400+ theses sheets.
30 people on the parliment house floor.
"long years ago we made a tryst with destiny..."
Raj ghat and Shantivan
The ford foundation
Shakti Sthal, the emergency and political principles.
1 very amazing person.
hundreds of MP houses.
2 long roads. the king's way.
The diplomatic enclave, patriotism.
many many vierendeel girders.
tons and tons of open faced concrete.
green green Delhi.
C2: to finally know that I am also a part of history.

the stats dont really matter, they sounded nice. so.
the trip was great. a lesson in history. a few in architecture.

ramble check
architecture is for everyone.

you know you're an architecture student when... you take your date to a construction site.

well, not all "you know you're and architecture student" tags apply to me. least of all this one. It turns out my first site visit in three years happened about a month ago. and it was a visit of the foundation laying for a 20 storey building in hyderabad. well, 20 storeys. now that's a not-so-normal sight here. It was dark, half the concreting was done and I wasnt wearing the safety helmet. it was of course no ordinary sight.

It was interesting. Not because I went there to figure out how concrete was vibrated, but because i ended up being fascinated by something I was always always cynical about. Concrete buildings and tar lives. heat. no light. conditioned everythings. water resource exploitation blah blah...the jungle of steel mesh. The tiny feet not able to walk properly on them. Yellow safety hats. 50 feet below the ground and the smell of freshly mixed concrete. it made me feel good. did you know concrete smelt good?
the irony of it all was that I felt that like I to be a part of it all. the ideas about local materials and climate responsiveness just somehow vanished for a few seconds in the strangely attractive and nice smelling big lump of concrete around me.
where is my goddam value system when I need it the most?

Big city lights. You have a responsibility as an architect, and we have to choose.
I have since been told that it's not always about choice but more about striking the balance. Maybe. But is the "balance" really an excuse to have the occasional glass curtain wall facade? it is easy to criticise. I'm a student. Everyone talks about it and we still see them go out and do the glass facades, the centrally air conditioned and the artificial environments.
I do not know what to make of these feelings, and I'm no great example of rebellion and alternative architecture research or even design proposals.them. that's what I shall call them.

what am I then?